Hello, I am Jack. This is the song of my people. I am suffering. This is not creative expression. *Plays flute* You guys saw that?
Hello, I am Jack. This is the song of my people. I am suffering. This is not creative expression. *Plays flute* You guys saw that?
(upbeat music) – [Narrator] From West
Hollywood, California, the only news team that doesn’t know what’s on the teleprompter
before they read it. Anyone who laughs or breaks loses points. This is Breaking News. – Good evening, and
welcome to Breaking News, the show where we don’t
know what we’re about to say and we’re not allowed to smile or laugh. I’m Car-less Mencia. – I’m a Birdy in a Bottle Baby You Gotta Rub Me the Right Way. – Tonight’s first story, Things That Go Woop in the Night. Now these are things like
owls and ghosts and the wind. What a fascinating topic and not much is known about
Things Go Woop in the Night. We hardly even covered it in school. Maybe a couple years in elementary school and then again in high
school, but that’s it, but I’ll tell you one thing, keep those woop noises out of here. They scare the living pizza out of me. – You can say that again, I’m a Birdy in a Bottle Baby You Gotta Rub Me the Right Way. – My least favorite woop? This one. (exaggerated woop) – Oh, god! That was awk-ful! That’s a word I just made up that combines awkward and awful. I’m trying it out. – I know. – Here, now let me try one. (exaggerated woop) – Gross! I want to die, but for a
different reason entirely. – And what reason is that? – I wanna see if you really get to eat all the ice cream
you want in heaven. – That’s beautiful. Now, let’s head over to Entertainment News with Rick K Brick. – Thanks, Car-less Mencia. Kids everywhere are putting
on their sneaker shoes and getting ready to dance to all the latest jams of the summer. – Jams? Jams? Let’s talk about jams. I hope you have some
examples of these jams. Are we talking strawberry jams? Blueberry jams? Raspberry jams? – No, you foolish little (bleep). I’m talking about song jams. You know, music to make our hips sway. – Well, get to it then. – Songs of the summer go like this. God built up a city. He tossed down some propane. It started up a fire and
now the trees are dead. – So good. – Other songs go like this. Spanking for the boys. Hard spankings for the boys. Oh, I’m singing spankings for the boys. Hard spankings for the boys. Their buns will burn. (laughs) And their buns will burn. Hard spankings for the boys. – Really good melody on that one. – I didn’t include a melody in that one. (laughs) Because if I do, we won’t
be able to legally use it. And still other songs go like this. Mr. Hamilton said, “don’t do it.” Mr. Hamilton said, “it’s a trap.” Mr. Hamilton said he loved me and then he took it back. Oh, I got the blues. Macaroni and cheese. – I am sorry to interrupt, Rick K Brick, but I’m getting word that
we have breaking news from the local mall. Reporter Tim Taffy is live at the scene. Tim, give me some of that news and give it to me the way I like it. – This just in, a bunch of (bleep) kids are about to (bleep) eat (bleep). They keep doing that gross thing
where you flip your eyelids and it’s freaking me out so much. I’m about to lose it. – That sounds awful! Why would they do that? – I don’t know, man. I’ll just be standing here
and one of them will say, “Hey, news boy, get a little
of this hot picture of my mom.” So of course I’ll turn to look and there will just be a
regular picture of his mom. – Beauty is in the eye of the something. I don’t know what. – Shut up, I’m talking! Anyway, I’ll say, “hey
that’s not particularly hot.” And he’ll lower the picture and it’ll just be him
with his (bleep) eyelids! I hate it. It’s not fair that I have to be on the street with the people and you guys get to be in a studio. – Anything else to report
about the children? Is there anything? Anything else? – Yes! They’ve been throwing
eggs at me left and right. I’ll turn left and there will be eggs. I’ll turn right and there will be eggs. Where the hell are you getting
money to buy all these eggs? – Fascinating. – Also, someone said they liked my shoes, but I get the feeling they
were actually making fun of me. It was something about
the way they said it. It made me really self-conscious. This is the worst job. – Well, that’s all the
time we have tonight. Thank you to all our
viewers for tuning in. Before we go, we have to
acknowledge this week’s loser. Me! – [Lily] Andy Bustillos. – [Andy] That’s right, that’s my name. Thanks for watching. – Don’t wave. – Don’t wave. – [Brennan] Don’t wave. It (bleep) up the green
screen when you wave. – You (bleep) loser. – Andy. – [Lily] Andy. – Don’t you hear what I’m saying? – I didn’t know. – Andy. – No one told me. – [Narrator] Like what you just saw? Of course you do. You’re an informed citizen! Well, guess what? 10 more episodes of Breaking News will be available for you
exclusively on Dropout. Go to dropout.tv and start
your free trial today. (laughs)
>>LEV PARNAS, THE INDICTED
ASSOCIATE OF RUDY GUILIANI, DIRECTLY IMPLICATES PRESIDENT
TRUMP IN THE MONTHS-LONG EFFORT TO PRESSURE UKRAINE TO
INVESTIGATE THE BIDENS.>>APPARENTLY, HE WANTS TO SING.>>IF HE WANTS TO SING, IT’S
BEST FOR HIM TO SING TO THE FEDERAL PROSECUTORS, REALLY.>>AND NOW… LEV PARNAS SINGS! ♪ ♪ ♪
>>ANNOUNCER: IT’S “THE LATE SHOW” WITH STEPHEN COLBERT.
MAY CONTAIN CONTENT INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN
– So the Acapop! KIDS, are y’all ready to show us what you got? You brought your shoe game. (cheering) Will you do the honors
of introducing them? – Yeah, of course. With a very special performance
in honor of you, Kelly– – Oh. – Give it up for the Acapop!
KIDS in their television debut. (screams with delight) ♪ A moment like this ♪ ♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪ ♪ For a moment like this ♪ ♪ Some people search forever ♪ ♪ For that one special kiss ♪ ♪ Oh I can’t believe
it’s happening to me ♪ ♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪ ♪ For a moment like this ♪ ♪ Grew up in a small town ♪ ♪ When the rain down ♪ ♪ I’d just stare out my window ♪ ♪ I could break away ♪ ♪ I’ll spread my wings and
I’ll learn how to fly ♪ ♪ I’ll do what it takes ’til
I touch the sky and I’ll ♪ ♪ Make a wish, take a
chance, make a change ♪ ♪ And break away ♪ ♪ Miss independent ♪ ♪ Miss self-sufficient ♪ ♪ Miss keep your distance ♪ ♪ Here’s the thing, we
started out friends ♪ ♪ It was cool but it was all pretend ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Since you been gone ♪ ♪ Been gone ♪ ♪ And all you’d ever hear me say ♪ ♪ Is how I picture me with you ♪ ♪ That’s all you’d ever hear me say ♪ ♪ But since you been gone ♪ ♪ I can breathe for the first time ♪ ♪ I’m so moving on, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Thanks to you ♪ ♪ Now I get, I get what I want ♪ ♪ Because of you ♪ ♪ I never strayed too
far from the sidewalk ♪ ♪ Because of you ♪ ♪ I learned to play on the
safe side so I don’t get hurt ♪ ♪ Because of you ♪ ♪ I find it hard to trust not only me ♪ ♪ But everyone around me ♪ ♪ Because of you ♪ ♪ I am afraid ♪
I’m a victim To my own Emotions Y E A H Onee day I’ll be feeling S e X y The next day I’m feeling G R O S S y E a H I don’t know why im so Self-Conscious I HaTe MYseLF
Surprise! One two three It’s your birthday Happy birthday It’s your birthday Happy birthday It’s a great day That’s why we say Happy Birthday to you!
It is time to find out who will be tonight’s Unexpected
Star Of The Show! So, that is Davide. He lives in Hertfordshire. He’s been a hairdresser
for the last 34 years, and there he is,
he’s combing it out, a little bit aggressively,
I’ve got to be honest! And when he’s not cutting and blow
drying, he absolutely loves to sing. He’s been nominated
by his friend, Colin, who is with him right now. Tonight, Davide thinks
he has volunteered to be in an identity parade. And that… I know, it’s a really good one! So, you need to be very, very quiet, because we’re going to be actually
pranking him on this stage. Are you up for that,
ladies and gentlemen? OK. So I can now go to the private
investigator’s office right next door, and that is it.
And there is Davide. And that’s his friend, Colin,
on the right. So, right now, he has no idea
that he is going to be arrested. Davide’s biggest fans, of course,
are his family and friends, and we’re going to find out
a little bit more about him before we do this massive surprise
on him. So, I’m going to chat with Franco,
which is Davide’s brother. Franco! Franco! Ciao! Ciao!
Stand up for me, Franco! So, you’re Italian? Totally. Totally! IN ITALIAN ACCENT:
When did he discover, Davide, that he was a singer? Well, actually, I didn’t even
know he was a singer. You didn’t know he was a singer? No. Don’t tell me I’VE just
told you that?! Yes, you have. Breaking news!
So tell me the story, Franco? Well, I found out
about five years ago. I didn’t know he could sing. And then he started throwing
a few notes about… And he’s embraced that since then?
Does he perform? Yeah, yeah, apparently so.
I’ve never seen him singing live. This is my first time. Well, I have to say,
neither have I, Franco. That makes two of us! Have you seen Davide sing live? No! Have you seen him sing live? No! Have you seen Davide…?
No-one’s seen him sing live. The rest of the family has.
Oh, the family has. All right, so who’s here tonight
supporting Davide? Oh, team Davide! We should find out if there’s
anybody here whose hair Davide has cut. There’s a bald gentlemen
who has put his hand up over here. A little bit extreme, wasn’t it? “Just-a keep-a going, OK?” Very good.
This is very exciting. Yes, it is. We’re going to give him
this surprise – how does he take to surprises? Because I’ve heard he’s
a little bit of a serious man. I think he will be shocked. Yeah, well, that’s the idea. Thank you so, so much, Franco.
Grazie! Franco! Franco! OK. OK. This is-a Franco. OK, I’m going to go around there – the next time you see me I’ll pop
up in that screen and I’ll show you a little bit
what’s inside that box. Bear with me, thank you, here we go! Hello! Can you see me? Very good! OK, so, this is
where Davide’s going to be taken, he’s going to be taken through
this corridor, I don’t even know what this is. It looks a bit police-y
and official. There are leaflets for things,
it’s a holding area. It’s all a bit miserable.
There’s an old… Oh, God! There’s an old payphone here. That seems fine –
no-one uses them, anyway. Off we go, health and safety stuff,
little bit of a chart. Of course this is all fake. I’m now moving on to that little box
in front of you on the stage, so this is it, it’s all very dirty. Stand here. This is obviously wrong,
I’m 6ft 2ins. They’ll each be given a number. And then they’ll stand here. They’ve got little numbers,
they know where to stand, I won’t make a single sound. And then that is going to collapse. And the next time you see him,
he’ll see you, then he’ll get
this massive surprise, OK? Thank you. OK, so, with a bit of luck,
we can go live to the room. And there are our volunteers. And I’m going to communicate
with that room, we have an actress, Donna, she’s going to be running
this whole little identity parade. Donna, if you can hear me,
enter and say, “I’m Donna Tracy PI.” And without looking,
throw your hat onto the hat stand. I’m Donna Tracy PI. Hello. Hello. OK. So… I’m running this identity
parade today. I’m running this identity parade
today. OK, names. Names…? Brandon. Davide. Colin. Bit about me?
OK, bit about me. I can Sherlock. I can Sherlock. Your name is Brandon.
Your name is Brandon. I just told you that. Then look at Davide,
sniff the air and say, “Parmesan. You’re Italian.” Parmesan. You’re Italian. Look at his fingers,
go, “Slight indentation.” You’ve got a slight indentation…
Scissors. Scissors. You’re a gift-wrapper.
Gift-wrapper… No, hairdresser! No, hairdresser.
Yes. You’re here to help us identify… You’re here to help us identify
the Candyman. He’s been stealing pick’n’mix
around the world for decades. They say he brought down Woolworths. They say he brought down Woolworths. We’ve been tracking him,
I’ll show you on the map… We’ve been tracking him,
I’ll just show you on the map… All around the world.
Mainly Europe. But as far as Hawai-i. But as far as Hawai-i. There was this key piece
of evidence here… A giant cola bottle. A giant cola bottle,
with his fingerprints all over it. But unfortunately,
it did go missing. But unfortunately,
it did go missing. I ate it. I ate it. In the identity parade,
you’re going to be recreating how the suspect operates. Let’s select Davide, hairdresser,
come forward, please. Hairdresser, come forward, please.
Thank you. Just stand here. If I could just ask
you to put this on. OK, so if I can just ask
you to put this on. Pop that on.
Thank you, pop that on. Yep. OK. If you just take a step back here… OK. Right… OK. I’ll ask you
to do a few things. I’m just going to ask you
to do a few things. First, look a bit shifty. First, can you look a bit shifty? OK. And he did do an evil laugh. And he did do an evil laugh –
can you do one? Ha-ha-HA! Very good. It is thought he was sucking
on a liquorice pipe. It’s thought that he was sucking
on a liquorice pipe. So I’m just going to hand you
this pipe. OK, just put the pipe in.
Put the pipe in your mouth. Do some combos. Look shifty. Do some combos and look shifty. Evil laugh. Evil laugh. Ha-ha-ha-HA! Right, how did he steal
the pick’n’mix? How did he steal the pick’n’mix? So, if you just come over here,
please. Just pop the scoop in here. Half full. Yeah. Just half full. Yeah. Stand over here, like this. Raise your scoop in the air. Now, raise your scoop in the air. That’s how he did it. That’s how he did it. OK, leave the coat on
and take a seat. We’re all going to coat up
and go through shortly. OK, very, very shortly,
we’re going to bring him up, he’s going to take part
in the line-up. It’s going to be very hard
not to laugh. Please do not laugh
at that moment, OK? Just hold it in. When I go, “That’s our guy,”
it’ll fall down and then everybody, on their feet,
go crazy. The crazier you go,
the bigger surprise he will get. All right. Let’s see how that goes. So, they’re all now…
MICHAEL CHUCKLES There’s Davide,
a little bit confused. Colin’s struggling to get
his backpack on. There you go. I’ve never seen a man
look more uncomfortable in a backpack in my life. All right. So, let’s bring them up.
Let’s do this. When he’s on the stage,
as quiet as you can, thank you. Great. We’re ready over there. OK. Shall we take everyone over now?
Please. Everyone ready, OK?
Follow me, gang. Shh, shh. Thank you so much, thank you.
Follow me, everyone. Let’s get you in, then. So, if I can
get you to be number one for me. Just stand at number one. Number two for me. If I can get you to be number four. Number five.
I’ll just get the suspect. All right. So if you can just get
into that position there for me. And put that right in front
of yourself. Thank you. So everyone
just face the front for me, thank you very much. And you’ll hear
a speaker that will explain. Thank you. Number three, please step forward. Raise your right hand
above your head, please, mate. Back, please.
Step back, number three. Number two, please step forward. Nice. Five, four, one and three,
please step out. That’s our man. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Davide,
our Unexpected Star! That’s all your family and friends! You’re the Candyman!
You’re the Candyman! Yeah! They caught you red-handed. It was me, it was.
How are you feeling, Davide? That is a massive, massive shock.
I’m completely shocked. Really shocked. What did you think
when that guy walked in? Because we tried to make him look
as similar to you. Did you start to panic,
when the suspect walked in? No, he wasn’t as good-looking as me. This must be very, very surreal. You are here, do you know
why you’re here? No. OK. Well, you’re here because you
are a sensational hairdresser. Yes. But now, you’ve discovered another
talent, what do you like to do…? Apart from cut hair?
Yeah. Yeah. I sing. There you go, that’s it,
ladies and gentlemen. You are here tonight
to be something called the Unexpected Star Of The Show.
So you are… It’s definitely unexpected! We’ve created and set up a whole,
huge performance for you. If you would agree, Davide, to be tonight’s
Unexpected Star Of The Show? No. Yes! He’s up for it,
ladies and gentlemen. We’ll take your second answer! Oh, you’re so brilliant. Thank you so, so much.
You’re going to go off here. There are people waiting, and we’ll
see you at the end of the show. Ladies and gentlemen,
it’s our Unexpected Star – number two, it’s Davide! All right, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our Unexpected Star
of tonight’s show. It’s Davide! # Nessun dorma! Nessun dorma! # Tu pure, oh Principessa # Nella tua fredda stanza # Guardi le stelle che tremano # D’amore e di speranza # Ma il mio mistero e chiuso in me # Il nome mio nessun sapra # No, no, sulla tua bocca lo diro # Quando la luce splendera # Ed il mio bacio sciogliera # Il silenzio che ti fa mia # Il nome suo nessun sapra # E noi dovrem, ahime, morir, morir # Dilegua, oh notte! # Tramontate, stelle! # Tramontate, stelle! # All’alba vincero! # Vincera! # Vincero! # RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE AND CHEERING # Vincero! #
-Halsey, we all know that you
are an amazing singer. -That’s an opinion.
-So, I thought — No. -I thought it would be fun if
you and I performed a few songs. Is that pretty cool?
-Yeah. -Would that be alright?
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ] But here’s the catch. To mix things up a bit, we fed these songs into
Google Translate, and we’re going to preform
the jumbled lyrics right now. It’s time for
“Google Translate Songs.” [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪ -♪ “Google ♪ ♪ Translate ♪ ♪ Songs ♪ -So, if you’ve ever used
Google Translate, you know it’s not
always perfect. For example, when translated
to polish and back, “The Tonight Show Starring
Jimmy Fallon” becomes “Today’s Program with
Jimmy Fallon.” So we did the same thing
with song lyrics. Some people have
done this online. It’s super-fun. Halsey, since you’re the guest,
you will go first. You will be performing
the Google Translated version of “Like a Virgin” by Madonna, which is now called
“Unwed Woman.” -Okay.
-Take it away. -Let’s go.
-1… ♪♪ -♪ Defeat comes ♪ ♪ For my thoughts ♪ ♪ I went there ♪ ♪ My color was sick ♪ ♪ But you forced my emotions ♪ ♪ Yes, you
forced my emotion ♪ ♪ Now freshly reflect ♪ ♪ Unwed woman ♪ ♪ For the first time,
explored outdoors ♪ ♪ Unwed woman ♪ ♪ When your chest hurts,
they’re nearby ♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
-I would buy that. I love that. Alright. -♪ They’re nearby ♪
It is so good. -It’s my turn. I’ll be singing the
Google Translated version of “ABC” by the Jackson 5,
which is now called “Alphabet.” Roots?
-1, 2, 3, 4… ♪♪ -♪ Texts and texts
and math time ♪ ♪ Come the parts
of study plant, okay ♪ ♪ The girls like listening
to the roots ♪ ♪ Studying has been stopped ♪ ♪ Tea, tea, tea master ♪
♪ Parodies and ♪ ♪ In any case ♪ -♪ Stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop ♪ -♪ Select the “I” button ♪ ♪ Listen to the baby ♪ ♪ It wants it now ♪ ♪ Alphabet ♪ ♪ It’s simple as ♪ ♪ A two ♪ ♪ It’s easy to restore me ♪ ♪ Alphabet ♪ ♪ As a two ♪ ♪ That’s why we had a girl ♪
[ Cheers and applause ] That was a tough one.
That was a tough one, man. -You got the hard one.
-It was rough. Alright, you’re up next. For this one, you will be
singing one of your own songs, “Without Me,”
which, when translated, becomes “You Soft Head.” Roots, whenever you’re ready.
-1, 2… ♪♪ -♪ Discovered poverty ribs ♪ ♪ Expanded glass
and then I became smooth ♪ ♪ Indicates distance to remain ♪ ♪ I became ghost to drop
you without friends ♪ ♪ You have my emotion
when you’re on the ground ♪ ♪ Sounds so loud when
I’m gripped by the distance ♪ ♪ I am single, not you,
why are you high? ♪ ♪ Word made of air,
have you taken depression? ♪ ♪ I do not exist ♪ ♪ You soft head ♪ ♪ I do not exist ♪ ♪ You soft head ♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
-I love it! -Yes!
-I love it! -Yes!
-That is fantastic. -“You Soft Head.”
-“You Soft Head.” Amazing. Alright, for our last
one, let’s do a duet, okay? -Okay. -This is the Backstreet Boys
song “I Want It That Way.” We’ll be singing
the translated version, which is called
“I Desire Roads.” -Okay.
-Roots. -1, 2, 3…
♪♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ My burns ♪ ♪ Come from you ♪ ♪ I will ♪ ♪ Lust alone ♪ -♪ You know ♪ ♪ My tongue moves ♪ ♪ I desire roads ♪ -♪ Say because ♪ ♪ Heart attacks do not happen ♪ -♪ Say because ♪ -♪ I haven’t ever
said “whoops” ♪ -♪ Say because ♪ -♪ You have failed in hearing ♪ -♪ I desire roads ♪ -Halsey, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ] Her new album, “Manic,”
is available now.
Well, is anybody looking for a vocal coach?
Well, stop, stop looking! Meet Ken Tamplin! Hi there! My name is Ken Tamplin! Heeeeeeeeeey,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh baby! Would you like to have that kind of vocal
power, range, clarity, and pitch? Well, you can! Come join me, Ken Tamplin Vocal Academy.com,
and I’ll show you how we can do it! Ken Tamplin! Now, pretty much anyone can raise their handand claimed to be a vocal coach. So how do you know how to tell what’s legit and what isn’t? Well, the way I’ve chosen to do it is by way of demonstration with my own voice, and my students’ voices. In fact,
we’ve decided to choose and pick off some of the most difficult songs to sing in all
of pop and rock history. Hey, guys. I’m Ryan Haeri, and I’m 14 years
old. Check this out. And I just want to tell you how amazing the
Ken Tamplin Vocal Academy is! I’m Kat Von D, and I can’t say enough
amazing things about Ken Tamplin Vocal Academy! I take you step-by-step, and physically demonstrate
with my own voice, what it is and what it’s going to take to make you a fantastic singer,
and I poured them into a course. It’s called How To Sing Better Than Anyone Else. In this day and age with so many auto tuned and processed singers it’s good to know
Ken is out there. If you want to benefit from my life’s experiences,
if you like the way I sing, I’ll show you how I do it, because in the end, the PROOF
is in the SINGING! So, if you’re ready, Let’s Get Started!