Articles, Blog

Illegally Downloading Music

August 14, 2019


If you’ve ever used LimeWire to illegally download a very low quality MP3 of Akon’s ‘Smack That’ that’s actually Afroman’s ‘Because I Got High’ but also the file is mislabeled as Sandstorm by Stan, with Eminem in parenthesis and oh! No wait, nevermind, it’s actually just twelve viruses in a trench coat disguised as a song, I have one question to ask you! YOU WOULDN’T DOWNLOAD A FUCKING CAR, WOULD YOU??!? The year is and I am five years old. Aw! Look at his giant head! As I play Space Cadet Pinball on my father’s very heavy-set Windows 98 off-white desktop computer, while farting and-and cumming, over in Massachusetts, Sean Fanning and Shaun Parker, portrayed by Justin Timberlake obviously, launch a little application called Napster. And Napster says: “Hi music industry, I’m Napster and um, I’m gonna set you on fire”. For the very first time there is an easy-to-use tool available to the masses that lets you download all of the music, in all of the lands, and for [bad British accent]
Oh my god, that’s crazy. And this is pretty monumental because music had existed since the- the first time Adam was like, “everybody clap your hands” and Eve was like, “stop it, what is happening? S- cut it out!” And now, thanks to the a.k.a. the MP3 if you didn’t go to college, you didn’t have to buy a physical record or cassette or CD just to listen to one song. CD? More like do you see these songs on my computer? Ya know what I’m sayin’? Now Napster is super important not just because it lets you download “Kryptonite” by 3 Doors Down really slowly and for free, but because it introduced peer-to-peer or P2P file-sharing to the masses. What peer-to-peer means is that instead of one person uploading a file to a central server and then another person downloading that file from a central server, peer-to-peer takes out the middleman and just lets people share files and dirty little secrets directly with each other, dirty little secret obviously being a reference to the All-American Rejects’ smash hit uhh, “Move Along” *awkward laugh* moving-moving along! p2p can be used to transfer all sorts of files, not just MP3s and eventually it will! like… a l-like a lot Laa.. Like a lot of porn. But Napster only let you do MP3s, and Napster gets crazy popular, eventually reaching like, 80 million registered users at its peak, which if you know simple math, you know that that’s more than four! But the AKA RIAA, isn’t having any of that shit. On December 7th, 1999, only months after the launch of Napster, RIAA filed suit on Napster’s buttcheeks on behalf of the 5 major record labels: UMG, SME, WMG, EMI, BMG, KFC, CKY. Between it’s launch in 1999 and its shutdown in 2001, basically everyone and their dog tried to sue Napster. A&M Records, Metallica, Dr. Dre, who is- uh he famously said; But this was a ton of publicity for the app and it only led to more and more people sprinting towards Napster to take advantage of the service before it would inevitably be taken down. The service finally shut down on July 11th, 2001, but dog, it was too late – the effects were irreversible. The entire internet had done a sick-ass Superman seat grab and completely transformed almost overnight. But with no Napster where did people turn? Allow me to introduce you to my friend Kazaa. Oh, have you met Limewire? This is my very lightweight, tiny friend who’s eventually gonna kind of be a huge deal… And his name is BitTorrent! While Kazaa and LimeWire were the apps that were the most popular immediately after Napster’s death in 2001, both of them were a little bit… goofy – um uh-, a lil’, a lil’ Lil’, lil’ A little drunk. Maybe, maybe they were hitting grandma’s bottle cabinet. I don’t know. LimeWire was released in May of 2000 by a dude named Mark Gorton, who has degrees from Harvard, Yale and Stanford and apparently all of them meant nothing when he made LimeWire. And Kazaa was released in 2001 and was developed by some Scandinavian dudes whose names I’m not even gonna attempt to pronounce, but they also would later go on to help develop Skype. What is this, the fucking History Channel? I don’t look like an ice road trucker. But also more extra importantly, both of these were absolute garbage for your computer. I want to talk specifically about Kazaa first. Kazaa here was closed source, which means to this day, people don’t know like exactly how everything worked. For example, the algorithm used to double-check that two files are actually the same thing. Like if two dudes both upload “Say My Name” by Destiny’s Child and it’s trying to like double check that they’re both the same thing so we can organize them, Um, it did not do a good job. Which means that, You could download what you thought was “It’s Been Awhile” by Staind, but surprise, fucker, that’s Weird Al. If you’re downloading some software or video games that have some “.exe”s in them, Um, please dot “Ex”cuse me from my computer before I invite 17 really cool viruses into my home. And hey, you remember our pal RIAA? They were doing it too, yeah! They were fighting the war on illegally downloading music by spreading fake ass corrupt files on Kazaa. Isn’t the Internet so crazy!? Another small, but also like kind of huge bad thing about the app. Um, it was riddled with adware. And malware, and spyw- Basically every “ware” you could think of it-it had it. Warioware? Ace Hardware? But regardless, Kazaa is popping off hard, from like 2001 to 2004 ish So hard that in 2003 are our favorite pal RIAA over here says “you know what?” “Fuck it, if we can’t sue Kazaa, We’re just gonna start suing a bunch of Kazaa users directly for a shit ton of money, like college students. Why? FUCK EM. That’s why. You don’t need a fucking business degree! Society is a lie! Anarchy! dude, gamers are the government!” As you could imagine, traffic starts to die down on Kazaa because users are getting afraid of going to jail and while users scattered to other p2p services like LimeWire, in 2006 Kazaa’s parent company, Sharman is sued by MGM in this huge lawsuit and ends up settling for the little tiny baby amount of a hundred million dollars, which is a lotta – I’ll – I mean I’ll rephrase it for my younger viewers so they could better understand it. It’s like – it’s like if you took four of your mom’s credit cards, yeah, yeah, like, like “So – so many V-bucks!” You get it, i- yeah. I’m proud of you. Okay, so anyways what Kazaa and LimeWire had in common is… all of the bad stuff. Mislabeled files. Viruses Malware. A really cool feature where every song is actually just Bill Clinton saying “I did not have sexual relations with that woman! Miss Lewinsky.” Limewire would even eventually release a version that you could pay for called LimeWire Pro that promised better search results and faster downloads, but because life is hilarious and pirates always find a way around stuff, you could just download LimeWire Pro with LimeWire, which is the funniest thing in the world! It wasn’t perfect. It was probably gonna require your parents computer to go to Planned Parenthood and get tested for every STD imaginable. But goddamn it bro. I gotta download that new Avril Lavigne though! Even though it was a beautiful disaster, LimeWire had a good long run from 2000 till it’s ordered shut down in 2010. when the US District Court claimed that LimeWire and it’s Ivy League creator, Mark Gorton were both found guilty of copyright infringement and unfair competition. Hey, you remember your super low-key chill friend who’s so hilarious and chill! Especially when he suggested that LimeWire owes him 72 TRILLION DOLLARS in damages to the music industry which is more money than the Earth had at that time. Which luckily the judge thought was ridiculous, and they settled for a hundred five million which is like practically nothing. And overtime, music, movies, and TV shows gradually figured things out and evolved with piracy. Unlimited music for like, 10 bucks a month on Spotify is a pretty beautiful evolution of the Internet’s capabilities, and it’s way better than running the risk of downloading the Soulja Boy Travis Barker remix on LimeWire and running the risk of infecting your dad’s computer with a funny disease and also potentially getting sued by RIAA for downloading a Travis Barker production. So what the fuck is the point of all of this? Well, okay. So yeah, people are always gonna want shit for free and that’s never gonna change, but also a lot of people are willing to pay money and support content that they care about If they feel like there’s trust and respect shown on both sides, but more importantly, you can get LimeWire Pro with LimeWire! That’s it for today. I really do hope you’re doing well, and please stay tuned for a message from our sponsor. thank you for viewing the captions Do your clothes look bad? Do your clothes make you feel like when you look at em, you go, “Ah, F***!” Well here at Jakey, Jakey and Jakey, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, WE CAN HELP. We have clothes that can protect you from situations of hazard, such as going to the mall and the guy at the Dairy Queen saying “Hey… we don’t serve bozos like you here, wearing shirts like that!” Or when you go to Ace Hardware and you’re trying to get a lug nut and the guy says “Mmm, nice try, bozo shirt!” Jakey, Jakey and Jakey ATTORNEYS AT LAW can protect you from all of this! Shirts like the “NAKEY & JAKEY SPECIAL VIDEOS UNIT” to let people know when you wear that; “Hey man, I’ve seen a guy die before! I’ve seen a man get boiled, like a hard boiled egg!” *starts losing it* or the “JAKEY, JAKEY AND JAKEY ATTORNEYS AT LAW” logo t-shirt featuring our many mantras that we say as a sort of a cheat sheet. In situations where you don’t know what’s legally going on such as: And we have other shirts now, too and we had them before as well. But they’re still there. If you feel like we can give you the protection that you require today, head on over to: And have Jakey, Jakey and Jakey ATTORNEYS AT LAW handle… *exhales* your case… please buy my merch. I’m gonna go to sleep now.

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99 Comments

  • Reply Penile Platinum July 28, 2019 at 1:50 am

    I and my bro just illegally downloaded Minecraft.

  • Reply cappew22 July 28, 2019 at 2:49 am

    i downloaded the new hit song jakey_not.dead.yet.exe with my favorite program limewire.pdf.

  • Reply ShaneTV July 28, 2019 at 2:57 am

    I was waiting on that bill Clinton bit for 7 minutes and 20 seconds. If I waited a second longer, I would have unsubbed you from my 90k accounts already subbed to you

  • Reply Tyffanee Lavely July 28, 2019 at 4:00 am

    For real tho..you look fkn great with that beard

  • Reply sengiko July 28, 2019 at 4:52 am

    Nothing like rewatching Naked Jackson vids often

  • Reply Smurf Gooch July 28, 2019 at 6:49 am

    The one winged angel part made me laugh so hard lol

  • Reply 2B July 28, 2019 at 1:51 pm

    Yo nakey, we miss you. We need new vids 😭

  • Reply Benjamin Mair July 28, 2019 at 3:52 pm

    Please get a green exercise ball so you’re sitting in the air. It would bring me great joy.

  • Reply Jack Woods July 28, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    8:36 anyone know what song that is?

  • Reply DimiYei July 28, 2019 at 7:05 pm

    those were some sick dance moves

  • Reply Chris Shearer July 29, 2019 at 1:14 am

    I tried to use uTorrent to download Terraria for free when I was like 9

  • Reply Russell Johnson July 29, 2019 at 1:24 am

    when jakey said "anarchy, dude; gamers are the government" I felt that shit

  • Reply Aaron Hughes July 29, 2019 at 3:18 am

    When you get Rick Rolled.

  • Reply Doom Slayer July 29, 2019 at 7:35 am

    Cd more like C my D

  • Reply Kabel July 29, 2019 at 6:42 pm

    jake you're so hot

  • Reply Ratsnrop Live July 30, 2019 at 1:35 am

    They still have lime wire pro for pc and phone love it my old phones full of music and movies.

  • Reply Blue Yoshi July 30, 2019 at 2:20 am

    What kind of LSD where you on making this video?

  • Reply Bennett Ryynanen July 30, 2019 at 2:57 am

    I illegally downloaded Not Dead Yet

  • Reply Failed Abortion July 30, 2019 at 4:09 am

    I would download a car.

  • Reply The.Dinkster July 30, 2019 at 5:04 am

    Jakey, we need you to get a green ball so you float. I know I'm not the first to request this, but its not only what the people need, its what the people want.

  • Reply Sgt Ryan Deadshot July 30, 2019 at 5:23 am

    who’s here from the reddit post

  • Reply At Random July 30, 2019 at 6:51 am

    Wait, that’s illegal

  • Reply Dun Diddly Derek July 30, 2019 at 11:31 pm

    Am I the only one who wants to see Jake collab with Jontron?

  • Reply KrispyFootWear.mp4 July 31, 2019 at 2:21 am

    0:22 Counter-Strike 1.6 Character Face Reveal.

  • Reply Cheryl Clark July 31, 2019 at 5:04 am

    Limewire was the shiznit back in high school.
    Burnt all my CDs and played them in my 99’ Chevy Contour while tokin with friends on the way to school. Pretty sure every single student who owned a PC had LW..

    They were selling CDs at school for $5/a pop, makin’ fat stacks off the backs of cheapskate parents who couldn’t afford to buy their kid a computer.

    GOOD TIMES😢

  • Reply Eric Alvaro July 31, 2019 at 10:52 pm

    Oh, I see that Chrono Trigger song at 8:51, that was a really blast from the past! I salute you, sir! Good taste, good taste!

  • Reply Elpreto 19 July 31, 2019 at 11:25 pm

    Best comercial

  • Reply A DekuSkrub August 1, 2019 at 3:10 am

    this videos was an omen

  • Reply J Tech August 1, 2019 at 5:25 am

    youtube to mp3

  • Reply Kailash Harsha August 1, 2019 at 10:24 am

    We all download that George Bush statement and Superman's Travis Barker remix huh? XD

  • Reply Devin Reagan August 2, 2019 at 4:24 am

    Whats that last songgggg before the "ad" i feel like its fron legend of zelda

  • Reply Elastar August 2, 2019 at 3:10 pm

    The RIAA sound literally gives me life

  • Reply JimmyNeedsCup02oodle August 2, 2019 at 3:27 pm

    So your saying that my mom has 25 million dollars on her credit card?

  • Reply Bzerko August 3, 2019 at 5:20 am

    YOU WOULDN’T DOWNLOAD A FUCKING CAR!

  • Reply Popcorn August 3, 2019 at 9:32 am

    well with youtube you can just record music using obs or something too which kinda defeats paying for music and downloading sketchy free music

  • Reply Huff Poster August 3, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    Jakey, Jakey, & Jakey flubbed my case up bigtime. I got into a kart accident on Rainbow road and sued Nintendo. We lost the case, Nintendo sued ME for the cost of their defense fees, and THEN Jakey tells me "By the way, I'm not a real lawyer." He told me $10,000 for deposition prep! All he told me to do was say thst I plead the fifth every question. Unbelievable.

  • Reply Isak DJ August 3, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    2000mp1 2019mp4

  • Reply ThisIs ReadyMade August 4, 2019 at 1:20 am

    Song at 9:19? I’ve heard it before but I just can’t think of it right now.

  • Reply marathon 7789 August 4, 2019 at 4:49 am

    how rich is my mom?

  • Reply Lysergic Tom August 4, 2019 at 10:18 am

    A protest the hero song erased my system 32 file

  • Reply Idle Shinobi August 4, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    MP3 was pretty cool, but I always preferred MP2

  • Reply Local Llamas August 4, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    This guy looks like chris Pratt wtf

  • Reply Zao Jin August 4, 2019 at 4:59 pm

    730 videos in my Watch Later playlist and I’m here rewatching this video for the 6th time

  • Reply Morgan Holloman August 5, 2019 at 3:16 am

    I've straight up watched this so many times… and the amount of editing here is bonkers.

  • Reply towelie August 5, 2019 at 3:50 am

    What about free yt to mp3

  • Reply Cupid August 5, 2019 at 7:25 pm

    Please stop the jokes..

  • Reply Phantasm Bruh August 5, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    Jakey I stole cafeteria on frostwire

  • Reply Bob Jones August 6, 2019 at 1:49 am

    "Gamers are the government!!!"

  • Reply julianschmidt August 6, 2019 at 4:28 am

    I have no clue if you’ll ever read this, hot boy, but here goes. You have helped me so much over this last year. I was quite depressed for while there, but watching your videos have inspired me and just made me a lot happier (especially your dark souls video, it made me feel like I wasn’t alone in what I was experiencing). I hope that you know that I, along with countless others, are very thankful for your presence on this website. I’m really looking forward to your next video!

    Dog bless.

  • Reply Satat August 7, 2019 at 2:53 am

    What’s the song that starts playing at 6:28

  • Reply kokroche1 August 7, 2019 at 4:28 am

    I tried to download inglorious bastards on limewire and ended up getting a porno movie titled inglorious bastards

  • Reply james sarvadyjr August 7, 2019 at 6:23 am

    I remember using limewire back in the day to download songs on my old iPod and Straight fucked up my dad’s computer…it was so worth it

  • Reply Leroy D'souza August 7, 2019 at 11:40 am

    "Gamers are the Government." Hell yeah!

  • Reply Brandon Findlay August 8, 2019 at 2:24 am

    I was cracking, but I was totally gone after you said you can download limewire pro on limewire.

    I remember that shit… gimmie dat teal turbo downloading bar boyyyy!

  • Reply NotScott The Grand August 8, 2019 at 3:38 am

    Imagine Jake’s subtitles but like pewdiepie’s

  • Reply probrokristiano nemo August 8, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    Yu MoM

  • Reply Carlos Spicyweiner August 9, 2019 at 12:09 am

    Wait

    THATS ILLEGAL

  • Reply Huddy Gamble August 9, 2019 at 12:27 am

    I won't be illegally download your music

  • Reply Shrek McLovin August 9, 2019 at 1:27 am

    Taliban used Napster, naoster shucks down. 2 months later Taliban retaliated on corporate America?

  • Reply Dan Kale August 9, 2019 at 8:30 am

    6:58 background song name?

  • Reply Devosent August 9, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    “You wouldn’t download a car”
    carvana intensifies

  • Reply NonChalant Croissant August 9, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    THUG

  • Reply Björn Bear August 10, 2019 at 7:45 am

    NicoB sent me here.

    Hi fellow penguins. 🐧

  • Reply Xzeralt August 10, 2019 at 7:59 am

    And now you can just download music off youtube

  • Reply FreyaSilverflame1223 August 10, 2019 at 12:06 pm

    I was more of a Kazaa user, LimeWire was my backup

  • Reply toRealReality August 10, 2019 at 12:45 pm

    Jakey with a beard gets me nakey

  • Reply Joper Amod August 10, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    Remember: Don't copy that floppy.

  • Reply Sir Micheal Hunt August 10, 2019 at 3:16 pm

    I was there for the tail end of Napster. Used KazaA for a bit then went onto Soulseek which was actually pretty decent, it had a ton of live/demo and bootlegged stuff for artists and .flac files

    These days i just rely on private trackers for stuff like vinyl rips and hi-res flac

  • Reply vlad cojocaru August 10, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    Napster is not a peer to peer system it has a central server

  • Reply lil meme August 10, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    This is one of the realest channels of YouTube anymore

  • Reply Spectre1122 August 10, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    8:20 ahhh RIAA who thinks something like limewire got 72 trillions $

  • Reply Shaun Swain August 10, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    I will never forget my father setting up his fantastic sound system, gleefully opening a song and having our house blast:
    "I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMEN."
    Fuck you Bill Clinton, you broke my father's heart.

  • Reply unkn0wn4041 August 11, 2019 at 6:31 am

    There should be a sister channel called hanky panky

  • Reply Derek Fletcher August 11, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    it's sad because all of this is 100% familiar to me. I wish it was 1999.

  • Reply Derek Fletcher August 11, 2019 at 12:37 pm

    gamerz r teh government

  • Reply Derek Fletcher August 11, 2019 at 12:40 pm

    I legitimately did download limewire pro through free limewire. Also I got away scott free if it weren't for you meddling kids (aka the government). Seriously limewire = good mmrs

  • Reply moustachemoe August 11, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    Think Jakey will marry me?

  • Reply finnygamer 153 August 11, 2019 at 11:25 pm

    jontron

  • Reply Anna Birthisel August 12, 2019 at 3:36 am

    This mans outfits give me a different kind of anger

  • Reply FRiaK August 12, 2019 at 3:59 am

    My name’s Ria and the way he pronounces the R-I-A-A makes me both attacked and uncomfortable but also as if senpai has noticed me~

  • Reply Alex Sylvian August 12, 2019 at 7:00 am

    What's the evil villain music that plays when RIAA is introduced?

  • Reply mr poopybutthole August 12, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    Dose anyone remember mp3 rocket?

  • Reply Quinn August 13, 2019 at 1:45 am

    ok
    ok
    ok
    i see these games
    but im not sure what i want
    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    how about barnyard?
    oh yeah
    shoot
    ummmmmmmmmmmmm
    im thinking maybe like one of those games
    eh?
    ok lets do to the moon?
    nAW
    ill make some tree hahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhaha
    MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA'
    you wanna go bro?
    TROLOLLOLLOLOLOLOOLLOLOOLLOLOOLOLLOLOLOOLLOLLOOOLL
    lets do a minecraft cringe comp of just our selves
    ????????
    lets prank hutton by destroying his pc and not buying him a new one

  • Reply Quinn August 13, 2019 at 1:46 am

    bro idk

  • Reply Quinn August 13, 2019 at 1:47 am

    ill play some taco tuesday

  • Reply Ryan Mc August 13, 2019 at 2:52 am

    Bout to download ‘not dead yet’ on Napster

  • Reply POPbottt August 13, 2019 at 4:04 am

    I just tried to mimic the part where he goes "And if you know simple math you'll know that thats more than four" and I just held up two fingers and I think I have dumb brain

  • Reply Rhys Weyrauch August 13, 2019 at 6:09 am

    I watch this video weekly. It’s so good

  • Reply SuperGiancarloBros August 13, 2019 at 6:39 pm

    Revenge (Captain sparkles) mp3

  • Reply Charles Amand August 14, 2019 at 1:09 am

    This is like if John Green's Crash Course was waterboarded with a gallon of lukewarm vinegar.

    And I mean that in a good way

  • Reply D T August 14, 2019 at 2:03 am

    I used Blubster
    Fucked my whole PC up

  • Reply Gavin Milbourne August 14, 2019 at 5:58 am

    I don’t know how you got in my recommended feed but you sir are fantastic and a comedy genius

  • Reply GodKing August 14, 2019 at 6:00 am

    He went from illegally downloading music to making it

  • Reply Konichiwa! August 14, 2019 at 7:09 am

    Best sponsor segment ever

  • Reply Vile Crimson August 14, 2019 at 8:08 am

    How could you of forgotten about MP3 Rocket?

  • Reply Mr_0nar August 14, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    But what about Frostwire?

  • Reply ILaz August 14, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    0:26 holy shit that brought back some memories

  • Reply Lane Colvin August 14, 2019 at 7:01 pm

    Limewire was having unsafe sex with the the internet

  • Reply Aidan ? August 14, 2019 at 7:06 pm

    i was birthed the day napster died

    i now know my true purpose in life

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